Me: Be Kind, You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through. Also Me: Nice Turn-Signal, F*ck Face

Besties A.F.

I Love You More Than Tacos, but Please Don't Ask Me About Margaritas

Mom Sleep. It's Like Regular Sleep, But Without the Sleep.

You're the Best Thing I've Ever Found on the Internet

I'm Not Saying You’re Old, But If You Were Whiskey, You'd Be Really Expensive

Thanks for Putting Up with My Kid